What was once shoplifting is now piracy; mail fraud has become identity theft; predators of opportunity have become predators who groom victims via social websites — and human trafficking is as easy as ordering a pizza!

Over the past 10 years, I have watched the evolution of the Internet as it went from being a mono-directional platform to becoming an interactive playground where anything is possible. Young people engage in what they believe to be harmless activities, when in fact they may be inadvertently crossing a dangerous line — either as perpetrators or as victims.

Let’s look at the four acts separately: piracy, identity theft, predators and human trafficking.

Piracy: This is the act of illegally copying or downloading copyrighted material (including music, movies and software). People continue to commit piracy for several reasons, such as: 1) It’s easy to do; 2) It saves them money; 3) They think they won’t get caught and 4) They believe it’s a victimless crime. But the latter is just not true. One credible analysis by the Institute for Policy Innovationconcluded that, every year, global music piracy causes $12.5 billion in economic losses, 71,060 U.S. job losses and a loss of $2.7 billion in workers’ income. That doesn’t sound so victimless to me.

Identity Theft: The FTC estimates that as many as nine million Americans have their identities stolen each year. The difference between identity theft pre-Internet and post-Internet is twofold. First, our information is much more accessible to criminals now (no dumpster-diving needed; just some malware sent through an e-mail) and second, the Internet provides an anonymous way to obtain commodities (you don’t need to show I.D. to a clerk to prove a credit card is yours).

Predators: There are really two types of predators: opportunistic predators (who wait for a situation wherein a child becomes vulnerable) and those who groom their victims by developing a relationship with them in order to built trust. With the Internet, it’s far easier to groom a child, because the predator can hide behind the veil of anonymity and pretend to be anyone the child wants him to be. In 1993, there were only 5,000 websites on the Internet. Today, there are over 2.5 billion — and more than 12,000 of them are run by pedophiles.

Human Trafficking: This is a very misunderstood concept. According to Robin Sax, author of “Predators and Child Molesters” and a former Deputy DA who specialized in prosecuting sex crimes against children, the United States is the largest consumer of human-trafficking victims. “When people hear ‘human trafficking,’ they assume that this is an overseas crime,” says Sax. “But American children are easy targets, and they carry less risk for buyers because they don’t need to be imported.”

Sax states that the role of technology in human trafficking is significant due to the sense of anonymity, the ease and inexpensiveness of producing and distributing child pornography and the lowered risk of being caught (because traffickers don’t need to leave their homes). Recently, in an open letter to Jim Buckmaster, CEO of Craigslist, Sax recounted the story of 11-year-old Bethany, who was taken from foster care by a 32-year-old man and then sold for sex through Craigslist.

Yet, although we are seeing new crimes (and old crimes, reinvented) on the Internet, we are also seeing new ways to combat criminal activity.

Broadband for America published a series of videos called “40 Ways the Internet Has Changed Our World,” one of which featured the TV show “America’s Most Wanted” and its interactive website. Since the inception of the online exchange, citizens have assisted in catching more than 1,000 criminals.

Also, law enforcement agencies are using the Web to catch criminals — sometimes in the act. ”It’s not that we are engaging in conversations with criminals; we are just looking at what they post,” said a Los Angeles police officer. “There is no expectation of privacy when it comes to committing a crime.”

Even “offline” criminal activities–  such as vandalism, carrying concealed weapons and drug use — are present on the Web. Some criminals boast about their activities on sites like MySpace and Facebook, posting comments and uploading pictures of the actual crime. Police officers are able to use this information in both catching and prosecuting criminals.

We have to remember that the Internet is just another community, with good guys and bad guys. As always, it comes down to this: It’s our behavior that matters!

Parents, your teens want limits on their online use!

OK, maybe not all teens. But I was shocked to discover that more than 50 percent of seventh graders surveyed (it was an informal survey I did myself, of only 100 participants) said that if their school was to ban Facebook for all middle-school students, it would actually give them some relief!

“I feel pressure to stay on Facebook and Formspring all the time so I don’t miss anything,” said one kid.

“If everyone else stopped using it, I would too,” said another. “I just don’t want to be left out.”

These were only a couple of comments I was able to quickly jot down, and the conversation exploded! I was speaking to a group of seventh graders as part of a series I do. It’s a three-hour presentation held in three one-hour segments. The first segment focuses on privacy and social networking, and that leads into the second session, which is about cyberbullying.

The third session is always my favorite. Over the three-week period, the students always return with FANTASTIC questions about how to change their own use in order to be more responsible. This was an especially mature group; the question topics ranged from sexting to social networking. But ALL of the questions revolved around their behavior and how what they do matters!

I brought up the subject of Principal Anthony Orsini and Benjamin Franklin Middle School, and how Orsini had asked parents to ban all social networking for kids aged 11 to 14. At first, the kids I was talking to were outraged. “How dare he!” and “He can’t do that!” were the initial reactions. But then I asked them, “What if your principal did the same, and all of your parents were on board with it? That means no one would have access.”

The tone changed. They actually became pensive. Rather than shouting out their outrage, they raised their hands — and the message changed, too. Many (but not all) of the students talked about how hard it is to keep up with all of the conversations that go on online, and how it even takes away time from doing other things they want to be doing (not necessarily homework, but I’ll investigate that another time). Others talked about how they think that a lot of the cyberbullying would stop if teens didn’t feel the pressure to constantly be in everyone else’s business. Some students, though, felt they have great balance. They use Facebook to do homework with friends, or even to start online campaigns for the betterment of their community.

In the end, it came down to this: The students understood that it’s not the technology that’s really the problem, but how they interact with it. I thought it was a great first step. Now maybe they will go home and tell their parents about wanting the new limitation. (Maybe not — but as a parent, I can dream!)

“Cyberbullying” is the act of bullying online. The actual behavior isn’t much different from traditional schoolyard bullying, but the different medium makes the consequences far more severe.

Cyberbullying consists of:

Sending mean, hurtful or threatening messages via electronic communication (e-mail, IM, text, posts to social networking sites).

Pretending to be someone you’re not in order to embarrass or harass a person. (Pretending to be someone you’re not in order to gain access to personal information is not only cyberbullying, it’s identity theft!)

Posting pictures or video of another person in order to harass or embarrass that person.

The consequences of cyber-bullying are more severe because:

• The victim has no safe place! Usually, a child can retreat to his or her home to escape the bullying. But with cyber-bullying, the harassment is always following them on their phones and computers.
• The victim sees the messages over and over again! Victims of cyberbullying tend to continue to read the hurtful messages in order to try and figure out why the bully is sending them. This repetitive confusion and self-doubt has a severe effect on the child.
• Cyberbullying is viral! Schoolyard bullying usually only involves a few individuals. With cyberbullying, however, the whole world is privy to the child’s humiliation.

Talk to your children about what it means to be a bully. There are different types of bullies:

• The Controlling Bully:This bully believes that in order to maintain relationships with peers, they must control them. We have all seen this bully — the one who no one really likes, but who seems popular because no one wants to be his/her next target.
• The Victim-Turned-Bully: In order to retaliate against a bully, the victim sometimes becomes the aggressor. This is VERY common in cyberbullying — and why it’s so important that we teach our children to “Stop, Block and Report.” (See below.)
• The “Mean Girl” (or Boy):This bully believes that putting down others is funny and will make others laugh — thereby increasing their own popularity status.
• The “I Didn’t Mean To” Bully: This bully doesn’t see himself/herself as a bully. They are often being careless and thoughtless and do not consider the impact of their actions. This bully will often feel remorse when confronted with how their actions affected others

A Bully’s Motivation:

I remember my mother telling me that the reason my bully continued to harass me was because the bully was jealous and insecure. I didn’t believe her! In my experience talking to bullies and victims, I have since learned that my mom was, in fact, wrong (it didn’t happen often).

Bullies are not necessarily motivated by jealousy (although there are some cases of this). They are most often motivated by asevere dislike of an individual and/or the need for control.

We must make sure that we explain this to our children, so we can give them the appropriate advice when dealing with a bully. If we teach our children to think they can fix the bully, we put them in situations where they will not win! You can’t stop a bully from controlling others. You can’t make a bully like his/her victim. Retaliating in kind won’t work, either, because the victim will never be meaner than the bully. You can’t even ignore a bully. None of this works. The only way to empower victims is to tell them the truth about why they’re being bullied, and then help them take back control by rebuilding their own self-esteem, finding a safe group of friends and reporting the bullying to the appropriate agency (a parent, school, social-networking site or even law enforcement) to deal with.

Teach victims to “Stop, Block and Report“: ”Stop“:Tell your child, “Do not respond to cyberbullying.” You don’t want your child to inadvertently become a bully because they lash out in defense. Although bullies deserve to be dealt with (and as a former victim, I would like to see them all get their fair comeuppances), that task should not fall to the victim. It’s also tempting as a parent to expend time and effort trying to “get the bully that hurt your child” — especially when the cyberbullying happens anonymously. But how will exposing the culprit help your child? Now they’ll just know who it is that hates them so much.

Although you may choose to handle the situation as you see fit behind-the-scenes, make sure you’re also focusing on what will help your children rebuild their self-esteem and get past the situation.

“Block“: Teach your children how to stop the cyberbully from sending any more messages. If the bullying is happening anonymously, then your child should shut down the application being used to transmit the messages. They may even want to shut down their e-mail, IM or social-networking accounts and start over again with a smaller group of friends they know they can trust.  You can block individuals from e-mail, IM and text messages (for that you may have to call the cell phone provider).

“Report“: Encourage your child to print out the entire conversation and tell someone! Hopefully, they’ll tell you first — although a 2008 study found that many teens didn’t tell their parents about cyberbullying because they were afraid they’d take away the technology. Parents, please remember that cyberbullying is a behavior! Let’s treat the behavior — not the technology!

Most websites (including gaming and social-networking sites) have a way to report abuse. That should be the first reporting you and your child do together. Depending on the site and the degree of bullying, they may do everything from warning the culprit to shutting down an account to contacting law enforcement. Different states have different laws about cyberbullying. However, if your child is being threatened online, contact local law enforcement immediately!

Talk to your children about their role in a cyberbullying situation. There are typically one of four roles being played:

1) The Bully: The person directly involved in the malicious act (as described above). 2) The Victim: The person directly affected by the bullying. ?3) The Bystander: The person who, while not directly involved, is aware of the situation and does nothing to stop it.? 4) The Advocate: The person who, while not directly involved, chooses to stand up to the bully and attempt to stop the taunting, teasing or harassment.

Take time to role-play, allowing your children to experience all four roles so they can decide the best course of action when it comes to cyber-bullying. Talk to them about what it means to be respectful — both in the physical realm and online. Also, it’s important that you model positive, respectful behavior in the home. (Bullies often learn aggressive behavior in the home, whether from a parent or a sibling.)

Your children should have a predefined plan for dealing with cyberbullying. That way, they’ll have a mental path to follow should they ever find themselves in a cyberbullying situation. We don’t want them trying to come up with a plan on the fly: Impulsive actions often lead to more harm than good. It’s the well-thought-out plan that stops cyber-bullying!

Heart-wrenching, honest, thought provoking, important!  urFRENZ is a movie that NEEDS to be seen by every teenager and parent!

Look, I’m not a movie critic and I understand I have no business trying to critique the direction, acting or writing; but I am most definitely qualified to tell you all the reasons why I loved this film.

Jeff Phillips, writer and director, pulled from his own family’s experience to paint a vivid picture of teen angst, parental confusion, and the growing digital divide between generations.

urFRENZ is the fictional popular social networking site where the drama unfolds. Catharine (played by Lily Holleman) meets a boy online who quickly becomes her whole world.  But he is NOT who she thinks he is. A misguided deception leads to an inappropriate relationship, cyber-bullying, sexting, and the ultimate destruction of a young girl.

The movie is so realistic that I found myself relating to several characters. As a former teenager, I found myself re-living my first love as I watched the movie.  My parents’ disapproval, my unwillingness to listen, my own deception to maintain a relationship I knew my parents wanted to crush.  Was there anything they could have said or done to stop me from seeing a boy that was so clearly a mistake?

As a parent, I found the tension between the mothers and daughters most significant.  The movie demonstrates how even a parent’s best intentions can be misunderstood by their teens or misguided in the execution.  These mothers love their girls yet the daughters are either unwilling to listen or feel their parent is the enemy.  How do we reach our teens?  What can we say to them to help them talk to us?  How involved is too involved?  urFRENZ examines all of this and much more.

urFRENZ is currently screening in select areas.  The next screening is Friday, March 26th @ 7:15pm as part of the Method Fest Film Festival.

Regency Agoura Hills 8, Theater 1
29045 Agoura Hills Road
Agoura Hills, CA 91301

Get Tickets HERE:

http://www.brownpapertickets.com/producerevent/103103?prod_id=2315

For future engagements in your area please go to http://www.facebook.com/pages/urFRENZ/196300089035

I sat down with a group of 7th graders this week to talk about the usual topics: social networking, privacy, cyber-bullying, multi-tasking, etc. when we got on the topic of how their parents respond to their online use.  We were talking about cyber-bullying and how it is easier for parents to tell their children they are being cyber-bullied because the bully is jealous or insecure, rather than explaining that bullies are controlling and sometimes just don’t like their victim (for more information on that, see the article on Talking to you Kids About Cyber-bullying). No parent wants to tell his or her children that a bully just doesn’t like them!

A young girl asked me why her parents would lie to her about bullying, so I had to switch into “mom mode.”

“They are not lying to you.” I said. “Sometimes, we as parents, don’t always know exactly how to explain things so we turn to explanations that we were given as kids.”

She nodded her head and then said, “Can I ask you one more?”

“Sure!” I said.

“Why does my mom say, “Because I said so?”

I smiled but without hesitation I responded, “She says this because the truth is, your brains are not fully formed until you are in your 20s.  And the part of the brain that is not yet developed is called the frontal lobe.  That’s the part responsible for reason, logic, and impulse control.  When your mom says, ‘because I said so’ what she really means is that, there is no way in this moment of your desire for instant gratification will you be using reason, logic or impulse control to make this decision so therefore a fully formed brain (that in your parent’s head) will need to make it for you!  Does that answer your question?”

The entire class responded with, “Oooooooooh.”

I smiled inside, recognizing their epiphany and wondering how many of them would go home and repeat these exact words.  I can just see it now, the next time a parent says, “Because I said so,” the child launching into, “I know you are just saying that because you think I can’t use my frontal lobe!”

When it comes to technology, we sometimes feel at a loss for the right answer because we don’t understand it. So we say, “Because I said so” for another reason, we don’t know what else to say!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; it’s really difficult to parent in a realm we ourselves were not parented in.  We don’t know what questions to ask or what to look for.  So let’s keep it simple for now:

• Don’t stop asking questions just because the behavior is online rather than offline.
• Understand the technology – before you buy it, drive the clerk crazy and have him show you every feature included on the device (recently a parent told me how her 12-year old daughter received a message on her DS while at LAX airport from someone else on a DS in the terminal- she had no idea the DS opened the door to communication with strangers).
• Use technology to your advantage- there is a great iPhone and iPod Touch app called LRNtheLingo to help you learn their language.
• Keep reading at lorigetz.com (a shameless plug I know, but it will keep you one step ahead)!

Thirteen-year-old Hope Witsell in Florida took her own life after a topless photo she had sent to a boy she liked was intercepted and circulated around the school. I spoke with several families after that incident made headlines, and I was SHOCKED at what I discovered. The overall consensus was that “these things happen to other families, my child would never do that!” And by “that,” they were referring to sexting.

One mother told me her 15-year-old daughter had too much self-respect to participate in such an act. However, that same young girl had sent a naked video of herself to her boyfriend almost two years earlier that ended up on amateur pornography sites across the net. The mother had no idea that her daughter was living with the shame of that secret.

The fact is, 20% of teens have admitted to sending a nude photo of themselves to a significant other, and 70% of teens admit to being a part of a sexting incident (either as the sender or the recipient).

Sexting is the act of sending a nude or semi-nude photo or video via electronic communication (including cell phone, IM, or e-mail). Sexcasting is when you send live nude video via a webcam. Whatever you call it, it’s a huge problem when it comes to teenagers.

The problem is two-fold:

Currently, when you produce, send, or receive images of nude minors, it’s child pornography. Period. Just ask Philip Alpert, who is now a registered sex offender after forwarding a naked picture of his then 16-year-old girlfriend to dozens of her friends and family after an argument.

Recently, legal issues pertaining to minors producing and distributing child pornography of other minors are starting to change, including in the state of Indiana, where lawmakers are currently working on a bill that would separate sexting laws from child pornography laws. But there are other issues parents really need to consider.

Although not every child will become a registered sex offender after sexting, serious and long-lasting consequences still exist. Sexting means being sexually active, and our kids are “doing it” without being in control. When they sext, they are sharing their bodies with another person, and they have no control over who will see this image or where it might end up. Parents cannot emphasize this point enough.

They are engaging in an act that should be private and meaningful, not lascivious and available to the masses. We never teach our children to be out of control when they make the decision to be sexually active, but that’s exactly what they are doing when they sext.

“I found out when his girlfriend’s dad called me and threatened to call the police!” said the mother of a 13-year-old boy after he sent naked photos of himself to his girlfriend’s cell phone.

“I found out when I received an anonymous e-mail calling my daughter a whore!” said the mother of a 14-year-old girl after a naked photo of her was being used to solicit sex in an adult chat room.

“I found out when the school counselor called and told me video of her was circulating on an amateur pornography site,” said the mother of a 15-year-old girl who had sent a “private” video message to her boyfriend.

The behavior is dangerous and has unbelievable long-term consequences for your children. Do you know what your teen is up to? Don’t be taken by surprise. Sit down with your teen and talk! You may find it spurs a conversation you never realized you should be having.

Recently, A mom e-mailed me asking if there was anything she could do to stop cyber-bullying from becoming an issue with her 10-year old daughter and her friends.  Here’s what I recommended:

1) Talk to your children about cyber-bullying before it happens.  Check out the article on “How to Really Talk to Your Kids About Cyber-Bullying.”

2) Keep the computer in a public place in the home.  This helps your child understand that their online use is NOT private.  Also, when friends are over, they are less likely to get themselves in trouble if they feel they are being observed.  Take a look at “Cyber-bullying and Sleepovers” for more information.

3) When your child is on a play date (at someone else’s home) ask the parent about their computer use rules in the home.  Make sure to let them know how you feel about unsupervised computer time.  It’s important that you do not pass judgment when asking these questions.  Every family is different and has different house rules.  But there is nothing wrong with asking another parent to respect your feelings on the matter.

4) Set a good example: Remember that our kids notice everything we do!

5) Cell phones and laptop sleep when we sleep: Do not allow the technology to go to bed with your kids.  They need sleep (plus the worst decisions are made late at night when they think no one is watching).  They do not need to feel the vibration of an incoming text message at midnight.  Put the chargers in the kitchen or even in your bedroom if necessary.

6) Recommend reading about the subject: To help put the issue into perspective you can recommend that your children do their own research on the topic.  MTV has created a great new website (may not be appropriate for younger audiences, so check it out first) at http://athinline.org.  Also, Rachel Simmons has written a series of books that speak to this issue.

“Stranger, stranger, 911! Stranger, stranger, 911!” 8-year-old Ella shouted, got down on her bottom, and began kicking her legs as she demonstrated her knowledge of what to do if a stranger ever approaches her. Her parents had dedicated much time to discussing stranger awareness and personal safety with Ella so she would be prepared in the case of a stranger approaching her on the street.

After watching her impressive demonstration of how to handle strangers, I asked her about strangers online. She looked at me, quite puzzled. “What do you mean? I only play kid games, so I’m only talking to other kids. I would never go into a grown-up chat room and tell strangers where I live or how old I am. That wouldn’t be safe!”
Ella is a big “gamer.” She spends countless hours on DSi and X-box live, and used to play Club Penguin, “when I was younger …,” said the 8-year-old.

While I have no problem with any of these games, it’s important that parents understand all of these games have a component where players can chat with other players. And while all of these games are meant for kids, predators who are interested in meeting children are going to go where the kids go. Strangers are strangers, and even if they are only saying hi or playing a game, we are teaching our kids that the rules are different online than in the physical world! Your child doesn’t know if that cute little penguin is an 8-year-old girl or a 50-year-old pedophile. Your opponent on DSi could be a registered sex offender in your area (you have to be within 65 feet of the user in order to use the chat component).

We are sending our children mixed messages about stranger awareness. It’s not okay to talk to an adult stranger in the park, but it is okay to talk to a completely anonymous individual that may be an Internet predator?

With young children, I explain that there are adults in this world that do not know how to have relationships with other adults, so they’d rather have them with children. My young audience will usually crinkle their faces and tell me, “That’s gross!”
Our kids don’t realize that they are playing a dangerous game when they “friend” total strangers. These predators are tricky. They find ways to connect with your kids, telling your children they like the same things, go to the same places, and obviously play the same games. The predators always point out how much they have in common. The process is called “grooming.” Although your child may feel safe in the comfort of their own home, they are potentially letting a predator into their lives.
Help your children find a group of friends they know from the physical world and set up a time for them to play together (not too long, there’s homework and chores to be done). We need to teach our children that it is not impolite to ignore strangers online or choose NOT to play with them. It’s SAFE!

Everyone’s heard about the dangers of sexting — sending nude pictures and videos over the Internet — but no one thinks that their kid would be dumb enough to do it. Well, they are, and they do, and it can change their lives forever.

Do you remember a time in your life when you would have done anything to get the attention of a boy? Spending hours on your hair and makeup, making sure to stand, dress, giggle, and talk exactly the way you thought he would have wanted you to? Do you remember a time when everything you did and said felt awkward, but if the boy you liked thought it was “rad,” then you did, too?

Now imagine you are growing up in 2009 … where all of these insecurities are caught on camera and your most private moments are uploaded for the world to see. This is what our children face today.

“I thought it was the end of the world,” says 15-year-old Emily [all names have been changed to protect teens' identities], as she told me the story of how a naked video of her ended up all over the Internet.

Emily met David at summer camp when she was 13. She was shy and a little insecure about her looks, so she was thrilled when this 16-year-old boy noticed her. They were friendly all summer, but their relationship grew after camp ended. David contacted Emily through MySpace, and she added him on her page. David became more forthright about his feelings for Emily online, calling her “babe” in comments and private messages, and talking about how “hot” she was.

“To me, the word ‘babe’ is a couples’ word,” said Emily. She believed his intent was to develop a real relationship. After many online exchanges (but nothing face-to-face, as Emily knew her parents would not approve of her dating an older boy), things got more intense.

“He wanted me to send him a naked video of myself … I was embarrassed … I didn’t want to do it, so I sent him a picture of my butt…. I thought giving him less than what he really wanted was OK.”

After she sent the picture, David began pressuring Emily for more. He said the pictures of her butt made him so horny and he needed to see the rest of her. He talked about how beautiful she was and made her feel very special. Reluctantly, Emily took her family’s camcorder, and videotaped herself dancing topless. She then uploaded the video and sent it off to David.

David insisted that he was not receiving the video and talked Emily into resending it through several different applications. Emily used 4 different sites to get the video to David before she finally gave up, thinking it never went through. David seemed angry at the time and stopped messaging Emily for a while.

Months went by and occasionally David would message her through MySpace asking her to hang out. Emily would ignore the messages or just simply decline. Then one day, Emily got a phone call from her best friend.

“You made a porno and you didn’t tell me!” said the best friend. Emily had no idea what her friend was talking about. The girl explained that she had opened her Facebook page earlier that day to find a link in her Honesty Box with a message attached: “You think you know your best friend? Your best friend’s a slut!”

The link took her to an amateur pornography website where her best friend was dancing topless in front of the camera. Emily was mortified. This was the video she had sent to David.

“My whole high school knew about it,” said Emily. “I was stared at, whispered about … people never would have guessed that I would have done that. But what was really killing me was thinking about what would happen if my parents found out.”

Emily jumped every time the phone rang at her house. She was having little panic attacks thinking about the day her parents would discover their perfect daughter was a disappointment. “It was interfering with my life … I couldn’t trust anyone. I had a huge wall up,” Emily admitted.

After months of closing herself off from both her family and friends, Emily finally realized she had to tell someone. She first contacted me after her best friend heard me speak at her high school. Emily needed to tell someone, and I was far enough removed from the situation that she thought it would be safe. I finally convinced Emily to talk to her school counselor, who then spoke with her parents (with Emily’s permission).

“My mom hugged me,” Emily repeated three times as she told me the story. “I expected my parents to be very disappointed, not talk to me, to cry — maybe they did, but not in front of me. If anything, they were upset that I had tried to protect them instead of them protecting me.”

Emily’s story is not uncommon. Teens today do not understand the ramifications of Sexting, or Sexcasting. Sexting is sending nude photos via text messages, and Sexcasting is the act of sending nude photos or video via webcasting. No matter what you call it, when children participate in this act, it’s child pornography. Some children who have participated in sexting have been prosecuted for the production and distribution of child pornography and are now registered sex offenders.

Other consequences of sexting can range from a few stares and malicious gossip to suicide. At the end of the interview, Emily said to me, “I’m lucky this happened to me in L.A. Everyone is so caught up in their own stuff, no one really gave me that hard of a time about it. Did you hear about the girl at Syracuse?” Emily was referring to Jessica Logan, originally from Cincinnati, Ohio, who was attending college at Syracuse. While in high school, Jessica had sent nude photos of herself to her boyfriend that were then circulated around her high school. After returning home from college for a friends’ funeral, the pressure became too much and Jessica hung herself in her parents’ home.

When I asked Emily why she sent the video in the first place, she stopped and thought for a moment. “I don’t know really,” she said. “He kept telling me how hot I was. Sometimes he talked about what we would do if we were actually together. I wasn’t ready for that. I thought this would satisfy him.”

Today, after talking to a counselor and her friends about what happened to her, Emily feels a sense of obligation to let other girls know how important it is to think before you send. “I had to stop blaming myself in order to face what I did,” she says. “I made a mistake and the worst part was trying to keep a secret that everyone already knew about. I was manipulated. He could have fooled anyone.”

I asked Emily what she thought could be done to help other young people from falling into the same trap.

“It’s an issue that needs to be talked about as soon as middle school,” she says. “And our parents don’t understand. They are so overwhelmed with the technology, so they just don’t talk about it. We’re given condoms in health class and told how to use them, but no one talks about this. Do we have to make the mistake in order to learn about it?”

Emily and her parents contacted the local police department and they worked diligently to remove as much of the video as they could find. The case against David as the distributor of child pornography is still open. Emily has found comfort in the fact that she no longer needs to keep this from her parents. She is now focusing on her poetry, painting, drawing, and running track.