Are you thinking about buying your son or daughter a new piece of technology this holiday season?  Here are some tips and tricks you might want to review before handing over the device to an eager, tech savvy tween or teen.

1. Ask the right questions BEFORE you buy: What does your child want to do with the device? Is it just for gaming or connecting with friends?  Some gaming devices, including the DS can connect to other DS players without even going online.  The iPod Touch can be used just like an iPhone with apps to install for texting, talking and connecting to the Internet (even if you don’t buy the data plan).
2. What applications will be installed on the device (laptop, desktop, smart phone, iPod touch)? You want to be aware of four types of apps that can be detrimental to any tween or teen: Anonymous apps, apps that draw attention, mean apps and apps that locate.
   Anonymous apps (like Formspring) allow children to send and receive messages anonymously.  For teens it’s an easy way to bully or get bullied.  Rather than spending a lot of time trying to keep up with every anonymous app, you are better off just asking your child whether the app they are installing allows them to hide behind this digital veil.  If so, let’s remind them that we expect them to be responsible and accountable for their actions.
   Apps that draw attention puts your child in a position to get 3 types of attention; positive attention from people they know and like them, trolls (anonymous bullies), and predators.  They need to be aware that not all Internet attention is positive and can connect them with Identity thieves, stalkers and pedophiles.
   Mean apps (like the Ugly Meter) are a recipe for disaster, even if your child thinks it’s a joke.  The Ugly Meter is an iPhone app that takes a picture, looks at 9 points on the face and spits out a message about how ugly you are.  To a 20 something- this may seem hysterical, to a teen… it’s devastating.
   Finally apps that locate (like Places and 4square) allow users of smart phone (phone that connect to the Internet) to check in and out of a location, letting all of their followers know their exact location at all times.  It may be a great way to find a friend at the mall or allow a stalker to track your child’s whereabouts.
   While all of these types of applications may have a valid home on the Internet, in the hands of a young person not always capable of controlling their impulses or making the best decisions, it can be potentially dangerous.  As a parent, we are better off focusing on the types of apps we want to avoid rather than the specific sites or applications.  That way we are focusing on behavior rather than specific technology.
3. Set up the appropriate rules and guidelines BEFORE handing over the tech! Anytime you introduce a new piece of technology is a great opportunity to discuss how your child will use the device safely, responsibly and ethically.  Here are a few topics you will want to discuss:
   • Personal Safety:
     Keep personal information private: yours and others (what do you consider personal information)
     Avoiding Unwanted Internet Attention: use of youtube and other public video forums
     Password sharing: who will have the password to the computer as well as other accounts (such as e-mail, IM, Facebook, gaming)
     Filtering and Monitoring software: deciding what is appropriate for you and your child
   • Computer Safety:
     Installing Anti Virus and Anti Spyware: protecting your computer from viruses and intruders
     Downloading rules: what can and cannot be downloaded to the computer (i.e. illegal copies of software, music and movies)
   • Ethical Use:
     Cyber-bullying involvement: How you feel about your child’s role in any cyber-bullying situation and what your role will be as a parent
     Plagiarism: Copying other’s work to use as their own
     Piracy: Illegal downloading or copying of copyrighted material such as software, music and movies (this is stealing).
     Truthfulness: How you feel about your child being able to communicate with you about what they are doing online including sites they visit, online relationships, and amount of time spent online
   • Time Management and Ergonomics:
     Location of technology: Where will the computer, iPod touch, gaming console or mobile device be used?  Where will the technology be charged overnight?
     Time Limits: How much time is too much time?
   • For Parents:
     Appropriate balance between monitoring, spying and privacy
     Talk before saying NO

For more information on finding an appropriate balance between monitoring, spying and privacy and information on specific software please see the article Where to Draw the Digital Line.

Happy holidays!